The most unexpected of things

29.7.11 § 4 commentarii

I recently had the old riah zhooshed and idly inquired whether the cape around my shoulders had been shaken out since the last customer, as there appeared to be more than a few grey hairs down my front. Johann, the surly mitteleuropäisch barber, assured me that no, it was in fact all my own hair, and proceeded to point out exactly what bits of my scalp they came from. I may have made a rather undignified noise. It's now undeniable: I'm going grey at the temples. Now this by itself might not exactly be cause for concern, as I'm relatively certain that the sudden appearance of grey hair is not unconnected to stress. Nevertheless, there are other signa et portenta.

Nasal hair has become an Issue. Hangovers are becoming worse, and lasting a good day or so. My hairline is receding. Oddly, this only appears to be a problem on one side of my head (similarly, the aforementioned nasal hair problem affects only the left nostril. I am ageing lopsidedly.), although this could just be down to how I tend to part my hair. A chance remark by He Whom I Call Beloved, followed by much contortionism and a pair of mirrors, reveals that my hair is beginning to thin on the crown. The hair on my back and shoulders has become pelt-like, and I am forced to either shave my upper arms or refrain from wearing t-shirts. I desperately need to have my prescription updated, as my glasses are no longer helping me to see in the distance, and I suspect that my eyesight is now too poor to drive legally.

I shall refrain from listing the non-physical signs of ageing that I've noticed. Quite frankly, a raging intolerance for youth slang, fashion and music is just a part of the grumpy misanthropy that I have cultivated since I was twenty or so. I do feel old, though, when walking through the centre of town on Friday and Saturday nights. Clubbers are so young these days. And I swear that some bus drivers have obtained employment under false pretences: some of them don't look old enough to be in charge of a tricycle, let alone a sodding double-decker.

I am aware that this post is not without an element of chutzpah. Many (most?) of you dear and loyal readers are richer in years than I. Indeed, my husband, who is six years older than me, as bald as a billiard ball and sports a beard so streaked with grey that he appears to be speaking through a baby badger, has told me to stop being such a bloody drama queen. While tucking a nice tartan blanket around me and passing me my pipe and slippers.

What's this?

You are currently reading The most unexpected of things at logodædalus.


§ 4 Response to “The most unexpected of things”

  • I've been completely grey on top since I was 28. Never bothered me at all until my chest hair began to match my head. For some reason this was going too far, and I've taken to colouring it. Apart from that you are making me feel quite young.

  • Deiniol says:

    I like to think of my role in life as being to bring joy unto others ;) I first started getting grey hairs when I was about 25 or so, but have since realised that plucking them is both futile and painful- they might be grey but at least they're on my head. I have enough errant hair to pluck out of my nose.

  • Curtis says:

    You need to inherit a good looking dome, one that
    is smoothly ovoid and does not look like it was made
    of two quarter spheres with a piece of cylinder
    stuck between them, as is mine.

    Eventually the top of yourself will show.

    As for yerg niarb rettam you are hale and hearty.

  • wastrel says:

    As it happens, I found a couple of grey hairs at one temple [er.. anatomic, not religious, I'm not a forensic buddhologist] a couple of days ago. And I've ALWAYS had receding hair, and somewhere under the untrammelled morass of my hair I've got a worryingly growing amount of visible scalp creeping out.

    However, I'm still quite chuffed on the hair front. Everybody's always told me how I've got the same hair my grandfather had and HE went completely bald in his mid-twenties, so I've kind of got used to the idea that hair is temporary by now.

§ Leave a comment: